Joy

I can't really can't complain much. Life has been pretty solid so far. I feel like I'm missing out on something right now still though. Its not just the money, almost like part of me is missing. I love the studio and I got used to being able to share it with everyone, and record it. I got used to feeling important, to being heard, but now that is no more, I'm on hiatus, maybe indefinitely, who knows. 

This break is making me realize a couple things, the first being that I cant take for granted what we have, and the second being that Chinese takeout is hella good. I got a-lot of time, a-lot running through my head, I got few rhymes, and females runnin to my bed. For now I'm just going to relax and do me. That's all I can do, I feel helpless yet free at the same time. I'm still trying to figure out the whole story of what happened to me though.

The other day I stopped by the studio around closing time, though it never closes, it was Sunday, and I know Jessie always leaves around 2 or 3. I waited outside of the studio by his car in the lot. Low and behold, out comes Jessie. He immediately yelled at me "Whats good son?! What you doin here?" I told him what id been up to, alot of chillin, and asked the same to him. He told me about the studio, about how some girl sounded like she was going to shatter the glass in the booth the other day, and how the Label has been unhappy with the studio recently, Jessie said he thinks it'll only be a matter of time before I'm back in action, he made a point to say that I have to prove myself to the label before I can just waltz back in, I fucked up. 

We went to Mr. Mike's Pastries to get a late, and improper Sunday lunch. Over slices of cake, and cookies I posed the question of the gun again to Jessie. He froze up, gave me an intense stare, and said "This isn't the place to talk about this Ster, and I'm not the person to talk about this, talk to our boy Byron. I can't believe you don't remember this shit man."

Phew! Thats good news, it doesnt seem that the situation has escalated, I could've committed murder for all I knew, but Jessie's demeanor reassured me nothing of that caliber occured. Now I just need to call Byron... again. Joy.

Royally Fucked

Its been one of those days man. Nothing seems to be going right. Already had a few glasses of whiskey, normally this does this trick but not today. Nothing seems to be able to fill the emptiness. I called Byron, The Baron, that didn't go so well. He acted like we were good again, like nothing ever happened. He said I owed him a little money still. Fine. I'm not into having debts, only checks. Then it started to get bad. he said I could help him out and he could help me out. With my connections, and the people in my industry, he could make some serious loot, he proposed a sort of you scratch my back, ill scratch yours. But I shut him up quick, I told him I'm done with that shit. He didn't take this too well..

"Its cool Sir Sterling, you can say bye bye to Byron after you get what you need, your all about you aren't ya? you get yours and your done, sing some songs, get some girls, pop some pills, you ain't neva help your boys!"

Not true, Jessie was my best friend along with Byron back in the day we had dreams of making it but we had different paths. But look at me now, back where I started. He hung up the phone in a rage, I know I'll talk to him again soon. 

I also talked to Jessie today. He chewed me out for so long, hes pissed at me now. Thats why Jessie's my boy though, he speaks his mind, lets me know when I fuck up, and lets me know when I do good. He says studio is boring without me, they had a few random people in to sing a few hooks, test out the sound, nothing special though. Jessie says he hopes I get back on the job soon, he doesn't know how long hes gonna stay here if it stays like this. Something strange happened though, I asked Jessie about my gun, he was on vacation with me, so I figured he would be the best person to ask. I told him how I found my gun,and he froze on the phone. he was like "man I gotta go, ill call you later." click, boom, hang up, done. My mind is racing. What is happening to me? What happened to my gun? What happened to my career? 

I stared for a long time at the plastic baggies I found in my pocket, the contents of the baggies kept looking better and better. I should'a told Byron to take the money and that shit back, take it all back, before I get royally fucked.

Oh Me, Oh My, I Truly Apologize

Alright everybody, Damn I fucked up, heres the scoop. I partied a bit too hardy while on vacation. I didn't show up for work, didn't even call for almost a few days apparently. They had to call me and when they did it was bad of course, I was all kinds of messed up. Apparently a short conversation happened where I essentially said "You trying to fuck with me?" followed by "I quit!". In the heat of the moment we can do some crazy things. I talked to my label today,they told me about what happened, they asked me to take some time off, stay out of the spotlight, and clear up some personal issues. They said they'd call when I'm good to get back into the studio and make magic again. What ever that means. They also showed me a video of an interview I did when I was royally fucked up. I was spitting and slurring, vision was blurrin, I said some things of which I'm not certain, but all I know now is I'm feelin the hurtin'. Its playing all over TMZ, ET, Access Hollywood, even a couple news channels graced their show with my inebriated presence. Fuck it.

I know I visited my old friend Byron, But we call him Baron Byron, because hes always bearing some goodies, and hes always royally fucked up. He used to be one of my best friends from home, but he took me down a path which I can't follow, and this is exactly the fuck why. Old habits die hard

Its hard to be good, and easy to do evil
And I aint really in to meetin' wit new people
Its hard to be good, and easy to do evil
Now im on my knees, used to soarin' like an eagle

Whos knows if ill get my job back, I don't have an label perks, all I got is my car and my apartment and my piano until who knows when. I used to be livin the dream, but now I'm no more than a seam holding my life together. All because I wanted to get a little bit crazy. I still have to give him a call and see what he says.

My Family is good, I talked to Moms, shes said shes glad I'm ok, she knows better than anyone the sticky situations I tend to get myself into. And she just prays I'll be ok. She said, "This aint no party, This is life! Now im all for some fun baby, But your a star, you found your place, and you need to hold it up there. I know you been runnin around with Byron again and look what you dun' done! Pull it together baby, and get back to doin what you love" She said I can come to her house if I want, maybe eventually I will. Still too much on my plate. I gotta contact my boy Jessie at the studio, I know hes gonna be so mad at me, but through think and thin we've been homies. Thats it for now, still piecing together some of the puzzle but ill keep you guys posted. Keep the love flowing everyone because I'm not in the studio doesn't mean I'm not making music. To my family, friends, and fans, I'm truly sorry. With the bad comes the good though, and I can promise you some good in the near future.

A Shot in the Dark

What the fuck? Where the fuck am I? What the fuck happened? What day of the week is it? It says Tuesday, February 14, 2012... but that cant be right. I woke up sleeping in my range rover this morning, parked in my Boston apartment's lot. I had to ask my self all of these typically basic questions, but this time there was nothin, no answer, not even the faintest idea, not even a shot in the dark. I went on vacation a while ago, and now I'm coming too from some crazy vacation high... not again. I gotta figure out what happened. I opened up my pockets took out my phone and wallet, I looked for my keys, they were still in the ignition. I felt in my pockets again, uh oh, this time I felt out some plastic baggies. One was obviously some weed left over, nothing too major. The next one I pulled out had white powder residue all over it, clearly some blow. The final bag in my pocket was filled with a mixture of pills, some of 'em got superman logos on them, rolls. The other ones were capsules, probably perks. Oh boy sterling, what the fuck did you get into this time.

I popped open my trunk to see if there was anything else I should know about on me. I walked around back flipped it open, and of course there was. Sitting, like it had been thrown there, in the middle of my trunk was one of my guns, a glock, still loaded but more importantly two rounds were missing. It looks like the old sterling and maybe some of his old friends may have made an appearance this vacation. I need to find out what the fuck happened. I need to charge my phone and make some calls, Ill let you know whats going on shortly. 

Vacation Station

Where do I start. From what I remember, this has been a crazy vaca.  From jets to lambos, lions to hippos, cops to ceos, hos to more hos, and pretty much anything goes. I went on a shopping spree, bought myself a car a nice Aston Martin Vantage in the spirit of london, found some lady friends, all is well in the world of sterling right now, I still got a few days on vacation lets see what I can get into. I've been to, LA, NY, and London so far, so... no where that I intended but I've got nothin but time. 

I've been picking up various shows on my trip, I was so fucked up one night, I apparently put on the show of a lifetime at some bar with a piano on stage, and said I'd perform for a bottle of Hennessy, and the lady behind the bars number. I haven't had to pay for shit so far, and I'm still gettin paid, tell me that ain't the American dream. 

One of my friends has a live zoo at his house, you ever seen a lion drunk? Turns its roar into a burp, and its prowl into a stagger, and here we are thinking it gives us swagger. Well thats all for now, keeping it tuned into vacation station here at planet sterling, time is money friends. Shout out to my fans in London, NY, and LA, and another big shout out to my fans around the world, I'll be coming soon, to a place near you, so get ready to see how dey' do. 

Spinnin, no DJ

The studio has been giving me hell lately. I go in and sometimes and I don't get to work on a damn thing that I like. Staying up late night, tryna get shit right,  keepin my game tight, its a winless fight. The studio's having some work done on it over the next week, and today I took it as a good excuse to have a personal moment. I rolled up, then lit up in the booth, baked it out, had some Hennessy, and let my mind melt. I was watching the carpenter, he was measuring and cutting wood for the addition of a new piece to the sound board. I saw his saw-blade, spinning endlessly in the same place. Thats how I felt, like a saw-blade endlessly cutting through tasks, again, and again, spinning in place.My minds spinnin, like its got its own DJ. I need a new jam, when my emotions well up like this thats normally when it happens, but this is different. This is a "I wana knock a fool out the fuck out" kinda feeling. Nothing to go home to but myself, or some slut that pretends not to be. I got cars, money, clothes, hos, but whats it all for?

"I need a vacation yo!" I shouted in the booth. The carpenter looked back and waved at me in a confused manner, while Jamie, one of my employees, looked up, took off his headphones, and said "No Way Steezy Ster, theres so much bullshit we gotta do!"

I said non negotiable, and asked if he wanted to tag along. Plus this would allow the work on my studio to get done much faster without any interference. I invited a bunch of my friends and family to come along, I think were going to go to Dubai, or maybe Ibiza. Whichever is preferred by all, I just need a good party, some memories, a release, who knows, maybe ill find a female that can handle my lifestyle, and that isn't just using me. Whatever happens, ill be good, just need a break from this spin cycle right now, time to drop the beat. Look out for me, im hoppin in my jet and cruisin' round, you know its goin down if im in your town. The Sterling you know and love is coming to your town, brace yourselves, its time to get loose, boys swag it out, and ladies bring your best. Sterling out!